Hogwarts is High
by Tootsie Roll 88
Summary: What happens when Seamus brings some drugs into Hogwarts and they have a party? Let's just say it involves streaking, a lot of slapping, teachers locked in rooms, 2 25, and tons more!
1. Default Chapter

Seamus was coming through the Gryffindor entrance and was looking for someone to share his news with. He saw Harry sitting on the couch doing his homework. "Hey Harry, I have something to show you."

Harry looked up from his homework. "What would that be?"

"It's a party must have. We can use it on Sunday. You know, the day when the teachers will be gone for that meeting in Hogsmeade."

"OK, but isn't it weird that the meeting is on a Sunday?"

"I've heard that it was the only day available."

"Oh. So, this is going to be one big party, isn't it?"

"Yeah. All of the houses are suppose to meet in the Great Hall."

"So, all the other teachers know nothing about this, huh?"

"No, obviously, they don't."

"Well, _excuse_ me."

"Oh come on, Harry, don't go going all _girly_ on me now."

"Whatever. So, what exactly is this 'party must have' anyways?"

"I'm not exactly sure. My brother got it from one of his friends and told me it was the best stuff in the world. It gives you the best feeling. He even showed me how to use it. I'll show you at the party. It's got a weird name though."

"Well, what is it?"

"It's a little thing called cocaine," said Seamus, smiling.

"Did I hear somebody say cocaine?" Dean Thomas walked into the common room at that moment.

"Yeah, what about it?" asked Seamus.

"That's the best stuff in the world! How did you get some? That stuff is so hard to get without it costing an arm and a leg."

"I got it from my brother. He's a squib. He has given me a whole bunch for my birthday. I'm planning to give some to everyone for the party on Sunday night."

"That's going to be sweet! Has anyone figured out a plan to get rid of the remaining teachers?"

"I know somebody's got one, but they won't tell anyone what it is. It's too risky. If anyone of the teachers find out what we are going to do, we will be expelled for sure!"

"No, really! I would think the teachers would join us."

"What do you think Harry?" Seamus turned around and found out Harry was gone. "Harry! HARRY!" Seamus yelled.

"Didn't you see him leave?" asked Dean.

"How could I when my back was turned to him?" said Seamus.

"Oh yeah, well, I have to go and get my homework done. Stupid Snape. I wish we could teach him a lesson. I wish we could embarrass him for once."

"So do I. I'll talk to you later then, Dean."

"Bye Seamus. Can't wait until Sunday. It should be a blast!"

"I can't wait either."

By Friday, everyone knew about the party and the cocaine. They were really excited about trying something new. Even the Slytherins were excited, but they tried their best not to show it. There was only one difficult part. Trying to break all of the spells the teachers would place around the schools. They needed somebody smart, somebody with knowledge, somebody with talent, somebody like…Hermione Granger. If only someone could persuade her into breaking a whole bunch of school rules and face possible expulsion. But who would do such a thing? Whom are the two people who could convince her to do something that drastic? Why, it's Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley, of course. Now all they needed was a brilliant plan. Something she couldn't turn down. But what would that be? This was going to be difficult indeed.


	2. Chapter 2

"Harry! Ron!" a voice called from behind them. Harry and Ron were making their way to the Great Hall for lunch, when they heard somebody calling their names from behind. They both turned around and saw Seamus, Dean, and a few other people from houses, which put together the party in the first place. "Harry! Ron!" they called out again. "We need to talk to you guys. You guys know about the party, right? Well, we over heard a little while ago that when the teachers are gone, they are going to put spells all over the school preventing us from doing almost anything, especially anything against Hogwarts rules and regulations. So, we all got to thinking and who is the one person who could pull it off? Then it hit us. Hermione Granger is the only who can pull it off, and you know that she won't do it, unless, there is a very good reason, or someone can compromise with her or something. Then we thought, who are the only people who can persuade her? That's where you come in. Do you think you guys can pull this off?" Seamus had a worried look on his face. He really didn't know what they were going to say, but he was hoping that they would say yes.  
  
"I don't know," started Harry.  
  
"Of course we will!" shouted Ron instantly.  
  
"Ron!" Harry said irritably.  
  
"What? I know exactly what we can do to persuade her! This will be a piece of cake."  
  
"So you'll do it then," Seamus asked eagerly.  
  
"That's what I just said, isn't it?" Ron replied.  
  
"Thank you guys so much! You don't know how much this means to us. You're going to become very respected for this, you guys, very respected." Seamus and his fellow friends went to go make some more plans for the party, making sure everything was in order. Harry and Ron decided to wait until later that night to confront Hermione and talk to her about this. Right now, they both were starved and wanted food.  
  
***  
  
That night, Harry and Ron went to find Hermione. They pulled her aside in the common room. Ron apparently had a plan that Harry knew nothing about. When Harry asked him what this plan was, all Ron could say was, "You'll find out when we talk to Hermione." This made Harry mad, because he knew Ron didn't come up with the brightest ideas.  
  
"What on earth do you want to talk to me about? What is so important that it can't wait?" demanded Hermione.  
  
"We need your help," said Ron.  
  
"I'm not helping you with your homework! I refuse to do it!"  
  
"No, Hermione, that's not what we want," replied Harry.  
  
"Then what is it?"  
  
"Well," said Ron, "it's about the party on Sunday."  
  
"What about it?"  
  
"We need your help with it," stated Ron.  
  
"I refuse to be apart of something so stupid! Do you realize how much trouble everyone could get into? You could get expelled!"  
  
"Hermione, listen to us. No one will know if you helped or not. All we need you to do is take off all the spells, so we can have our fun. You don't really need to be apart of it, all you need to do is take off all the spells the teachers put up, and everyone will love you. You will be popular, and no one will ever give you a bad name again. Well, except for a couple people that is."  
  
"No way. I'd also face expulsion if anyone ever told on me! I won't do it!"  
  
"Please, Hermione, we'll do your homework for the rest of the school year."  
  
"Coming from you Ron, that's an insult and a punishment."  
  
"Excuse me for one moment Hermione," said Ron anxiously. Ron took Harry's arm and pulled him off to the side. "Help me Harry! That was my plan. I don't have anything else! You need to come up with something."  
  
"You mean that was your brilliant plan? Ron that sucked! I even knew she wouldn't accept that! There is no way of persuading her."  
  
"Please Harry. Please help me. This party is one of the biggest things that is happening to Hogwarts, besides the Triwizarding Tournament."  
  
"I don't know, Ron. I honestly don't have anything."  
  
"Come on Harry, think of something. I know you can."  
  
"OK, I'll try. I have an idea."  
  
"Thank you Harry! You are the best friend in the whole wide world!" Ron and Harry walked back up to Hermione.  
  
"Took you guys long enough. What were you talking about?"  
  
"Nothing, look Hermione, we are willing to do anything you want, in exchange for your help," said Harry. Ron had a slight look of fear on his face, and looked at Harry with wide eyes. Harry mouthed to him, "You wanted help; you got it." Ron looked back at Hermione, who was looking down at the floor and thinking hard, and straightened the look on his face. He still looked like a nervous git.  
  
"Well, there is one thing," she started. "Nah, forget it. You guys wouldn't do it anyways."  
  
"No, I wouldn't do it, Hermione! No offense or anything, you're a great girl in all, it's just, I had planned to do it with, uh, never mind. I know I'm an irresistible guy and all, but face it, it just wouldn't work between us."  
  
"Ron! That's not what I was talking about! You men don't think with your minds, I swear! Your, your, well, you know, does all the thinking for you!" Ron turned a deep shade of maroon.  
  
"Well, what were you thinking about then, Hermione?" Harry asked.  
  
"I was thinking that, oh, I'm not going to say it here. Come with me outside."  
  
"Um, OK," was all Ron and Harry had to say the whole way there.  
  
"OK, we are here, now what is it?" asked Ron.  
  
"Well, you guys don't laugh at me for this. Women have their curiosities and like to have fun too."  
  
"So?"  
  
"So, my secret wish, and the only way I would help you guys, is if you both striped for me and stood naked in my room."  
  
Harry and Ron looked appalled. They could not believe she had just heard that.  
  
"You mean, um, that, um, your secret wish was to.was to.was to see us naked?" said Ron finally.  
  
"Not particularly you, but a guy. I think it would be interesting for a guy to just stand there, naked, and posing with out in gauging in sexual activity. I believe it further knowledge's a girl's mind of how a male body looks, and operates. That's my theory anyways. Plus, we get to have some fun watching it."  
  
"Well, when you put it that way," said Ron. "Then we will not do that! It's disgusting and barbaric! Go find someone else to do you disgusting fantasies with! Am I right Harry?"  
  
"Yeah," he stated, "I won't do that! What is under my clothes is my business, and my business only, until that right girl comes along, but for now, it's my business."  
  
"Fine then, you just won't have a party, now will you?"  
  
"If that's what it costs, then we don't have to have a party," yelled Ron. After he said that, he turned around, marched to the doors of Hogwarts, and went inside to go to the Gryffindor Tower.  
  
"I agree with him, Hermione. I'm sorry, but I do. I'll talk to you later."  
  
Harry left Hermione standing there outside. "It was worth a shot," she thought. Hermione went inside herself and went to bed. Somehow, she knew that she would get what she wanted. 


	3. Chapter 3

It was Saturday morning and Harry and Ron were on their way down to breakfast. They were coming down the steps when they heard a voice behind them calling their names. "Harry! Ron!" chorused the ever-familiar voice. They stopped and turned around. There stood Seamus staring straight back at them both. "So, have you guys persuaded her?" he asked eagerly.  
  
"Not exactly," stated Ron.  
  
"What do you mean, not exactly? Everyone is counting on you guys," Seamus said in a bewildered state.  
  
"Well, she wanted us to do something for her that we possibly couldn't do. It's too embarrassing for us to do and you wouldn't do it either if you were in our position," remarked Harry.  
  
"The whole school is counting on you. I'm sure it's not that bad. You have to do this. Please do it for the school. If not, you'll have to face the consequences."  
  
"Are you threatening us, Seamus?" asked Ron with squinted eyes.  
  
"I'm not the one threatening you, you're threatening yourselves. Trust me, you won't like the days to come if you don't do this."  
  
"Well, I don't care what happens, we are not doing it! Find another way to get Hermione to do your dirty work," Ron said. Ron stormed off in a state of fury.  
  
"Is this the way you feel as well, Harry?" asked Seamus.  
  
"I guess so. If Ron doesn't do it, then I can't do it. I'm sorry Seamus. If it were up to me, I'd try my best to work out the situation. Hermione is making us both do something for her. It won't work without Ron." Harry walked off after Ron.  
  
"Big mistake," said Seamus. "Big mistake."  
  
***  
  
That day, everyone around Hogwarts held a grudge towards Harry and Ron. Tricks have been played on them all day, and hexes shot at them left and right. Filch also wasn't the slightest bit happy because what was left to clean up, so even Filch was mad at them. Of course, Filch didn't really like kids all that well to begin with. After what must have been the two- hundredth attempted hex shot at both of them, Ron snapped. "All right all ready! We'll do the god forsaken stripping if we have to, just stop this bloody nonsense!" he yelled.  
  
"Does that mean Hermione's going to take off the spells?" asked a fifth year Ravenclaw.  
  
"Yes, it does. Is everybody happy now? We'll do something that's totally against our nature just so I can keep my broomstick from falling off!" Ron wasn't too pleased at anyone right at the moment. He hurriedly went up the stairs and headed for Gryffindor Tower.  
  
Harry went to go and find Seamus before he went back up to the common room. He knew Seamus wouldn't be up there yet. Dinner was coming shortly and new that they wouldn't miss an opportunity to go outside and get away from all the teachers. Harry found him out by lake with Dean and a few other buddies of his. "Hey Seamus!" Harry called. Seamus looked back at him with a grim expression and then pretended he didn't hear him. "Hey Seamus!" he called again. "Guess what? Ron just agreed to give in and do what Hermione wants us to do, so we can have the party!" exclaimed Harry.  
  
Seamus suddenly had a big smile on his face and stood up. "That's great Harry! Sorry about not talking to you. It's just, you don't want to be seen hanging around with some one nobody likes."  
  
"I see," said Harry. "Well, I better get back up to the common room and get Hermione. She's doing some homework or reading up there. She said that she would be waiting up there all day Saturday if we were to change our minds. If you guys want a party, you'll have to excuse me."  
  
"Thanks a bunch Harry!" Seamus called after him. "Looks like it's party time!"  
  
***  
  
Harry entered the common room and found Ron and Hermione on the couch. "Ron tells me you've both changed your minds," she said with a smile on her face. "Is this true?"  
  
"Yeah, Hermione, it is. Ron and I have decided to strip down to nothing and totally embarrass ourselves and loose all self confidence we've ever had."  
  
"Oh spare me the guilt trip. You are not going to get out of this one, Harry."  
  
"Well, thought I'd try."  
  
"Follow me," she said. Hermione got up from the couch and went up the stairs to the boy's dormitories.  
  
"Why are we going up here?" Ron asked.  
  
"Because boys aren't allowed in the girl's dormitories, remember?"  
  
"Oh yeah," said Ron.  
  
"None of your bunk mates are coming in soon, are they?"  
  
"No, they aren't. You said this wouldn't take long anyways. Why should it matter?"  
  
"Just making sure so no one comes in on you guys being naked, that's all"  
  
"Can we just get this over with?" asked Ron.  
  
"You are just taking the fun out of everything aren't you? Well, Ron, since you volunteered, you get to go first. Follow me. Harry, you wait out here."  
  
Hermione and Ron disappeared into their room. Harry didn't want Ron to ever be done. He dreaded going in there so much. He heard giggling inside, but it didn't sound like Hermione. Oddly, it sounded more like Ron. "Oh god!" thought Harry. He was absolutely disgusted by this. He heard the shutter of a camera and few words taking place, then out came Ron trying to put his pants buckle on.  
  
"I believe you're next, Harry," stated Ron.  
  
"Is it bad?"  
  
"Nah. Actually, it's quite fun. All she does is examine your body and take notes. That's all. All you have to do is stand there, be naked, and show off what you have. You can even strike funny poses if you want to. She won't even notice a thing."  
  
"Thanks for the boost of confidence Ron," said Harry sarcastically.  
  
"No problem," he said.  
  
"Harry, are you coming, or not?" asked a voice inside the room. Hermione eagerly awaiting her next stripper.  
  
"Yes, I'm coming in a sec." Harry turned to Ron and said, "Nobody finds out about this, agreed?"  
  
"Agreed," Ron answered.  
  
"Good. I'm going in." Harry went into the room, closed the door, and waited until the worst was over.  
  
When it was all over and done with, Hermione was immensely satisfied. But, she did seem to notice the difference in size between the two. She always thought Harry's would be bigger then Ron's. Then again, Ron's is abnormally big, so maybe Harry's is the right size. But, nonetheless, still satisfied. "I'm off to bed, and I shall be seeing you guys tomorrow to work out the plans. Good night," she giggled. She went up to the girl's dormitories, and went straight to bed. Even though it was early, she figured she would be having a hard time falling asleep. 


	4. Chapter 4

By Sunday morning, everyone knew that Hermione had found a way around the spells. They were all so excited, so of course, the teachers got a little curious (but not too curious, cause that would ruin the plot of the story, and then what would we have? We would have lied to you and deprived you of your laughter and excitement. So therefore, they didn't get too curious). Everyone had big plans for that following night. It was going to be one of the biggest parties ever.  
  
"Well, is everyone happy now?" questioned Hermione.  
  
"I wonder, Hermione, you only made us pose." Ron stopped. He realized he was yelling in the Great Hall.  
  
"No, you idiot! I was saying, is everyone happy that I got through the spells and such."  
  
"Oh," said Ron, as his face turned red.  
  
"Yes, Hermione," piped in Seamus. "We are extremely happy for what you did. And Harry, Ron, thank you so much. I don't know what you did to convince her, but it sure worked."  
  
"Damn right it should've. Otherwise, that whole posing nak-" Harry stopped suddenly. All of a sudden, he felt a hand come to the back of his head and a huge whacking sound. "HEY," he screamed, "What the hell was that for? It's not like I mentioned the whole naked thing. Yes, NAKED. Ron and I posed naked for Hermione. Oops, was I supposed to say that out loud? I'm sorry you guys'" said Harry sarcastically.  
  
Everybody just stood there without blinking.  
  
***  
  
Finally, the Professors were getting ready to leave. In five minutes, the school would be theirs. Hermione had already taken care of the spells. They all remained calm and cool until it was time. Dumbledore was making a last minute speech about how to follow the rules, listen to the teachers that are staying there, etc. Finally, he was done, and the teachers started filing out. They were so happy! The other two people left, where Professor Trelawney and Mr. Filch, and also Mr. Flitwick, but of course he was far too busy to be watching the students.  
  
Once the students were "locked" in their common rooms, Professor Trelawney and Mr. Filch had plans of their own. Trelawney gazed into her crystal ball and didn't see any trouble being caused, so her and Filch had a romantic evening planned in the Astronomy Tower. This was a major advantage for the students since their chaperons will be away all night.  
  
They planned on having one member of each house to meet in the Great Hall, then they would search Hogwarts for their chaperons and see where they were, then they were going to think of a plan to keep them locked up.  
  
***  
  
It was five minutes to seven o'clock. The selected members of each house were getting ready to meet in the Great Hall. Professor Trelawney and Filch were also getting ready to meet in the Astronomy Tower. The students were making their way down; up, in the boy from Slytherin's case, and Trelawney and Filch were making their way up.  
  
The students met in the Great Hall and decided to start searching right away. It took a very long time to find the two teachers, but when they found them, they thought of a quick plan. They decided to put a whole bunch of charms on the door that would take a very long time to get off, and then also lots of different charms to do, well, "different" things, we shall say. Once the charms were put around the Astronomy Tower, the students ran back to their common rooms.  
  
***  
  
Professor Trelawney and Mr. Filch met up in the Astronomy Tower. They had a romantic evening planned out. They were going to eat dinner, dance, and then just enjoy each other's company, but in the end, something happened that they didn't expect. Their whole romantic evening turned out to be a little more intimate then they planned. 


	5. Chapter 5

The party was well under way and has been for hours. Almost everybody had cocaine and was pretty well high. Professor Flitwick was in his room fast asleep. He was a very heavy sleeper and was very hard to wake up. Mr. Filch and Professor Trelawney were still in the Astronomy Tower having tons of "fun.

Back in the Great Hall, everybody seemed to be cheering. Closer to the teachers tables you could hear people chanting, "Streak, streak, streak!" and then out came a boy, completely naked, running through the Great Hall and out the doors. That boy was Neville Longbottom. Following him, he ran all the way down to the Charms classroom and opened up the door. There sat Professor Flitwick fast asleep. Neville danced all around and shouted, but the Professor didn't wake. All of a sudden, Neville ran into Professor Flitwick, knocking him to the floor and Neville landed on top of him! Just then a whole pile of students came in, hoping to find Neville, and find him they did.

"Neville!" said a boy. "I didn't know you swung that way! Maybe you and me should hookup sometime. Tonight at one o'clock, meet me in my dormitory," and then the boy winked at Neville and the crowd left. Flitwick just flickered his eyes open to see Neville standing there naked, then Flitwick closed his eyes again. Neville ran back into the corridor and into the Great Hall. When he entered, everybody started clapping. Neville remained nude for the rest of the party. He didn't remember a single thing, but he would the next day because Colin Creevey was there taking pictures ...of everything.

There everybody was sitting in the Great Hall talking amongst themselves. Then, somebody stood up and shouted for quiet. "Hey everybody!" the boy called. "I hope everyone's having a good time! I know I am! I have a question for everyone. Does anybody happen to remember what two plus two equals? I can't seem to remember."

"Oh, I know!" somebody shouted. "It's five!"

"Oh yeah! How about to help us remember, we say it all together! Now, when I say two plus two equals, you say five. Is everybody ready? Two plus two equals?"

"Five," shouted everyone.

"Two plus two equals," the boy shouted again.

"Five!" shouted everyone again.

This continued for the next half hour. This would have continued longer, but they were all interrupted. Out came another boy by the name of Seamus Finnigan with Snape's pink bunny pajamas! (They would have been yellow ducky pajamas, but then that would go against the summary, and then we would lie, and that wouldn't be nice, would it?) Everybody was laughing so hard because these pajamas were especially made for Snape. Every part of these pajamas fit perfectly, and it looked like the crotch area was way to small for Seamus. It fit very snuggly around there and all the girls were giggling and eyeing him the whole time. In other words, either Snape's was too small or Seamus' was too big (how about we make it both?) Seamus was running around shouting, "Look at Snape's pajama's. Aren't they great?" He was also running around and acting like Snape too. These kids were having such a great time.

Ignoring a lot of the commotion going on, Dean was searching the crowd looking for girls, even though he was going out with Ginny Weasley, he really didn't know what he was doing. All of a sudden, he ran into Ginny.

"Hey Dean!" Ginny said, jumping onto him. "Let's say you and me go and find a broom closet and snog," she said playfully.

Dean was surprised, but very willing, so he said, "Sure," and they went off to find a broom closet. After Ginny and Dean were through, Dean searched the crowd again for more ladies to go into a broom closet and snog with. That night, he snogged with two other ladies besides Ginny. Dean didn't really remember what he did, but don't forget, Colin Creevey was running around completely sane, and taking pictures of everything.

It was now getting late and the people who were sensible enough not to take any cocaine rounded up all of the people into their common rooms. Some people will remember this event, but some people will be forced to remember because Colin took pictures of it all. The next morning when they all got up to go to classes, they didn't expect what was going to happen.


End file.
